I demonstrated that way back in November.
I do things I know wont help me or things that will jeopardize my falling apart body.
The trouble is I am a glutton for punishment and a silly fucker at times.
Therefore sometimes when I cut my nose off to spite my face I do silly things and sometimes, just sometimes it works out all right and I surprise myself.
Coming 32nd out of 746 runners in a seven mile muddy obstacle course race with a broken hand wrapped up in waterproof bags and tape was to me an achievement.
The Lactic Fallout at the Secret Nuclear Bunker in Kelvedon Hatch would not defeat me and even as a one armed bandit I wanted to best it.
The trouble is that even though I made it through relatively unscathed (a couple of knocks that made me scream) I want to know how fast I could have run and where would I have come if I would have been fully fit and not a walking wounded old man.
I have to push myself you see. Ii cannot say 'I am injured and have to sit out'. Well I can, as there is no way with my hand that I can play rugby at the moment and it makes typing this slow and laborious. Also it has affected my gym work and my workouts consists of legs, core, CV and more legs at the moment.
That urge to prove to yourself that I can do this one handed was overwhelming and also I didn't want to lose the money I paid for the race. So basically I was a stubborn bastard.
For years I have done adventures obstacle races and every time have given it my all but never have I come so far up the field.
I should be proud of the fact that I came in 32nd place with a broken hand. Not bad really. I finished in one hour seven minutes and four seconds. Only ten minutes behind the winner.
Instead I feel annoyed that I could have broken the top twenty, maybe even the top ten. Basically I will never be satisfied.
|Jason and I before the mud|
So can run a race and one handed manage to climb over a cargo net or crawl one handed through thick gloop. I can just about manage to get over a wall one handed but had to admit one handed monkey bars was a rung too far, literally. But I cannot grip a steering wheel and drive or do my flies up without intense pain and hardship.
Its stupid really. I can run through mud, water and uneven fields but keep accidentally smashing cups of tea and coffee when I accidentally go to grab my mug with my gimpy hand.
Hurry up and heal. I miss lifting weights and being able to shower without taking of strapping. Oh and I hate this bloody brace thing that I have to wear for protection.
|After the race. Jason came 111th.|
Should I have run this race? Probably not. The two knocks I got hurt today and make me think that I am an idiot. Rest is a good thing, but I cannot sit still. Especially when this is going on on my doorstep.
I am basically writing this because I am fed up with being injured and bored with not being able to do things I want to do.
Heal body, heal!